remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
