This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Congratulations! We have a period
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