Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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