I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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