I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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