You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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