Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she told me i tasted like america
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You took a bar mat shot.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
