I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize