i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
