A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to calm my uterus...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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