I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
