don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
