Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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