Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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