Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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