I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
