yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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