I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
