tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
