she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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