i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
