i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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