So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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