I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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