Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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