he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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