dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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