I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
