He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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