she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
