Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
