For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
