needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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