We got so high we made milksteak
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
