i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
