ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize