I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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