I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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