i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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