You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
