Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
