I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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