Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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