first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
