You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
