im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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