That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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