talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
