due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
