I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize