Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
