oh god the rape fog is back!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
