Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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