OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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