when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Damn victory sex feels great
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
