I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
