Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
