i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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