Only a mothe r could love this liver
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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