In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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