Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
