mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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